


ask myself, what did i do? (what did i do to deserve you?)

by blackrose1002, BlackVultures



Series: MacDalton and Ailments [3]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angst with a Happy Ending, Appendicitis, Birthday Party, Blow Jobs, First Kiss, First Time, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:13:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22702993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrose1002/pseuds/blackrose1002, https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackVultures/pseuds/BlackVultures
Summary: Riley’s brows drew down in worry next, and she looked so much like Jack in that moment that Mac would’ve thought she was his biological daughter if he didn’t know better. “Mac, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I wonder… okay, think about your symptoms. What does it sound like you might have?”“Riley, I’m not—” Mac started, but stopped talking when she glared at him. He sighed and forced himself to think, going over how he’d felt the past few days… and his eyes widened. “No,” he groaned, because there was one very obvious reason for a pain in his right side that radiated like that. “Not appendicitis, not today.”(Spoiler alert: Mac has appendicitis and he thinks he ruins Jack's birthday in chapter one. In chapter two they have sex. That's it. That's the fic.)
Relationships: Jack Dalton/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016), Wilt Bozer/Leanna Martin
Series: MacDalton and Ailments [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1521650
Comments: 23
Kudos: 153





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KatieComma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatieComma/gifts).



> Hi guys!!! This is another LOOONG overdue birthday/Christmas gift, this time for the ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL [KatieComma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatieComma/pseuds/KatieComma)!!! As always, I couldn't do this without [blackrose1002](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrose1002/pseuds/blackrose1002) \- well, I could, but it's a lot harder and not nearly as fun. :P Anyway, if you read this Katie, I hope you like the fic and you know that I appreciate the HELL out of your friendship! Blanket warning for appendicitis and Medical Crap That May or May Not Be Totally Accurate in this chapter, and here's a bonus! If you don't want to read the smut, it's contained in chapter two, which I should be able to post next week sometime. As always, I put this one together so all mistakes are my own!
> 
> (Title is from "What Did I Do?/God As My Witness" by Foo Fighters because Katie and I have a mutual love for all things Foos.)

Angus MacGyver wasn’t what anyone called a party planner, but when he decided he wanted to throw Jack a big surprise bash for his birthday he didn’t hold back. He worked with Bozer, Leanna, Riley, Desi, and James to get everything ready at the house while Matty distracted Jack with some busywork at the Phoenix. He hadn’t been back from the Kovacs mission long—only about a week—so this was all very last-minute.

Mac was up on a ladder stringing some twinkling lights from the ceiling, trying to ignore the malaise that had plagued him for the past few days along with the weird ache he’d had in his side since that morning. “Bozer? Can you hand me the happy birthday banner?”

Once Bozer gave him the banner Mac tried to attach it to one end of a beam, but he couldn’t focus. The ache was getting more distracting, but Mac was determined not to think about it too much—this was Jack’s party and it needed to be _perfect_. They weren’t doing that great before Jack left, and Mac hoped the party would be the first step toward repairing their partnership, so Mac couldn’t let some pain delay him. It was his abdomen that hurt, low on the right side near his bellybutton, and as he climbed down from the ladder he realized it felt less like an ache and more like a sharp, stabbing pain.

It had gotten worse since that morning and something must’ve shown on his face because Desi paused in the middle of making giant pots of pho and noodles, tilting her head to the side. “Mac? You okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” Mac lied, furrowing his brows and doing his best to look confused. “How’s the food coming?”

“I’m almost done,” Desi replied, still watching him suspiciously.

Not wanting to give her more reasons to worry, Mac busied himself with another string of lights, glad no one overheard their conversation—the last thing he needed was everyone asking him what was wrong. People had been asking him that or some variation of it since the day Jack left, and while Mac appreciated their concern and knew it came from a place of love, what was he supposed to tell them? That it felt like Jack ripped his heart out and stepped on it when he shook his hand in the war room? That he’d been in love with the man for so long that functioning without him felt like fumbling through fog? Of course not.

Mac smiled and pretended everything was fine then, and he did the same thing now… but he felt Riley’s eyes on him from across the room. Sweat broke out on his temples and under his arms, and he didn’t know if it was from exertion, fever, or the fact that he knew Riley always saw right through his bullshit.

She made her way across the room a moment later. “Hey, Mac,” she said softly, leaning against the wall next to him and crossing her arms over her chest. “What’s going on?” He opened his mouth to lie again, but Riley just raised her eyebrow and beat him to it. “Don’t even try, Mac,” she said, her voice firm. “Something’s wrong, and while it’s not _that_ obvious, I can tell.”

Before Mac could say anything, Bozer’s phone beeped with a text. “Okay everybody, Matty says she and Jack are on the way here!”

That prompted James and Leanna to blow up balloons at a breakneck pace while Desi swore colorfully and turned the heat up on the soup. Riley just watched Mac, who sighed when he realized she wasn’t going to drop it and gestured toward the hallway. She followed him out of earshot of the others, which was right about the time the pain in his side intensified to the point that he grabbed at the spot, shoulder slamming into the wall as he groaned under his breath.

“Mac!” Riley exclaimed in a hushed voice, grabbing his arm. “Mac, seriously, what’s wrong?”

“I’m… my right side hurts,” Mac gritted out through his teeth. “It kind of… radiates down my leg, if that makes sense?”

Riley tugged him closer and put the back of her hand to his forehead, eyebrows rising when she felt how warm he was. “Mac, you’ve got a fever.” Her eyes widened. “Do you feel dizzy? Or nauseous? How long have you had the pain?”

“Since this morning,” Mac replied, ignoring her previous questions—this was fine, he was going to be just fine. “But it’s… nothing.” He forced himself to stand straight. “I’ll just grab a painkiller and I’ll be okay. Jack will be here soon.”

Riley’s brows drew down in worry next, and she looked so much like Jack in that moment that Mac would’ve thought she was his biological daughter if he didn’t know better. “Mac, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I wonder… okay, think about your symptoms. What does it sound like you might have?”

“Riley, I’m not—” Mac started, but stopped talking when she glared at him. He sighed and forced himself to think, going over how he’d felt the past few days… and his eyes widened. “No,” he groaned, because there was one very obvious reason for a pain in his right side that radiated like that. “Not appendicitis, not today.”

As if on cue, two things happened at practically the same time. Jack came in with Matty, and instead of everybody yelling and scaring the shit out of him James cut the net hung over the door and a bunch of balloons fell down on their heads. The other thing was that Mac felt an agonizing pain in his side, easily the worst one yet, and it was enough to send him to his knees with a choked-off scream.

Riley managed to catch him so he didn’t fall on his face, but he wasn’t really aware of anything besides the knife twisting below his ribs. He heard Jack laugh loudly and realized they weren’t visible from the rest of the house. Jack sounded happy and Mac tried to beg Riley not to say anything, but he couldn’t get any words out and the next thing he knew there was a commotion around them.

“Mac?” Jack’s panicked voice sounded right next to him.

“Angus? What’s wrong?” His dad was next, full of worry.

“Fuck,” Mac mumbled, tears forming in his eyes both from the pain and disappointment coursing through his whole body.

Speaking of his body, Jack’s hands were on his shoulders, and then one of them touched his face. “Mac? Talk to me, what’s going on?” he asked, Texas twang getting thicker as he grew more concerned.

“I think he has appendicitis,” Riley told them, and Mac hissed as another shooting pain went through his side. “He has all the symptoms.”

“We’re going to the hospital,” Jack declared.

Mac whined in protest but no one seemed to listen, and then he was being dragged outside, Jack’s arm secure around his waist. He put him in the passenger’s seat of the GTO and Matty said something about following them before Jack slid behind the wheel and started driving. Nausea gripped Mac immediately and he put a hand over his mouth, afraid he was going to vomit everywhere.

“Not in my car, dude,” Jack warned, but not in a mean way—he loved the GTO and getting any kind of stain out of the upholstery would be difficult. He drove with one hand and put the other on Mac’s shoulder, squeezing hard. “Hey, if you were feelin’ crappy why didn’t you say anything?” Mac’s eyes filled with tears again but he blinked them away, not wanting to make everything worse. He didn’t trust himself to speak so he shook his head, not too much, but enough for Jack to notice. “Fine, but we’re talking about it once you’re better.”

They got to their usual hospital in record time and Jack parked haphazardly in front of the emergency room, hauling Mac out of the car and into the building as soon as the engine was off. “Hi, yeah, my friend here has appendicitis,” Jack said to the woman behind the admission desk.

That was about the same time Mac’s stomach rebelled and he turned his head away to puke all over the floor. Jack’s arm tightened around him and he rubbed his back with his other hand. After that was a blur of white coats, Jack’s soothing voice and flickering lights, and then Jack was gone. Mac realized they were taking him somewhere Jack couldn’t follow—right, he was having surgery—and then before he knew it he found himself in the OR and everything went black, the guilt from ruining Jack’s birthday the last thing he’s aware of.

~***~

Jack spent the better part of two hours pacing back and forth in the OR waiting room, worry making him sick to his stomach. Bozer, Leanna, Riley, Matty, Desi, and James all arrived about twenty minutes after Jack watched Mac get wheeled into surgery, and he hadn’t heard a damn thing about how he was. He rubbed a hand over his mouth and sighed, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to keep his breathing under control. A gentle hand on his shoulder startled the hell out of him and when he looked he saw Riley watching him with worried eyes.

“Hey, you okay?” she asked softly, and moved to hug him when he shook his head.

He hugged her back, hiding his face in her hair for a moment. “I’m scared, Riles,” he admitted. “Why haven’t they said anything to us yet? Do you think something went wrong?”

At that moment a man in a white lab coat came around the corner, a stethoscope draped around his neck. “Hi, I’m Doctor Holden. Which one of you is Jack Dalton?”

Jack tensed and turned to face the doctor, Riley letting him go but staying close. He appreciated the silent comfort and he took a deep breath to steady his voice. “That’s me, I’m Jack.” He clenched his hands in tight fists. “How is he?”

Dr Holden smiled at him. “He woke up very briefly in recovery and asked for you. The surgery went well, although he cut it close—his appendix was about to burst by the time we got him into the OR. He has one hell of an infection but he should pull through just fine. He’s in a room now—would you like to see him?”

“Yes, please,” Jack said before the doc was done talking. He tried to ignore the way his heart fluttered when Holden said Mac asked to see him and he was about to follow when he remembered the others.

He turned to look at James, but he just smiled at him. “Go ahead, Jack. He doesn’t want to see any of us right now.”

Jack followed the doctor down the hall and into an elevator, and once they were alone Holden said, “I’ve been doing this job for a long time and I’ve never seen an appendix as bad as his. It’s a miracle that it didn’t burst, and if it had he would’ve been looking at a much longer hospital stay and recovery time.” They reached Mac’s floor and stepped out, and Holden left Jack outside the door to Mac’s room with these parting words: “He should be more aware than he was in recovery. Let the nurses know if you need anything.”

Once the doctor left Jack swallowed hard and took another deep breath. After a moment he pushed open the door and stepped into Mac’s room, his gaze immediately falling on the bed. Mac’s eyes were closed and he looked tired and small, but Jack could tell he wasn’t asleep. He purposefully made some noise as he stepped closer and Mac frowned a little before looking in his direction, eyes going wide when he saw Jack.

“Hey, hoss,” Jack said softly, sitting down in the chair near the bed. “You gave us quite a scare.”

“I’m sorry,” Mac rasped out, hands twitching where they rested against the blankets. One of them had an IV in the back of it, and when Mac started fiddling with his fingers it jostled the cannula in his vein but he didn’t seem to notice. He blinked a few times, blue eyes filling with tears. “I’m so sorry, Jack, this wasn’t supposed to happen. I wanted… well, it doesn’t matter what I wanted.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “I ruined everything.”

Jack’s eyes widened and his heart dropped because while at first he thought Mac was apologizing for ending up in the hospital—a very Mac thing to do—now it was clear that wasn’t the case. “What?” He leaned closer, grabbing Mac’s hands with his own. He did it to stop him from breaking his fingers, but also because he didn’t get many chances to hold Mac’s hands without it being suspicious. “What are you talking about? You didn’t ruin anything.”

Mac blinked again, and twin tracks of tears started running down his cheeks. He was clearly on a lot of pain medication because he usually wasn’t so open with his emotions. “But I did,” he insisted, hands twitching in Jack’s grip… not like he wanted to pull away, but like he was twining their fingers together, which broke Jack’s brain a little. “Didn’t you notice the balloons? The decorations? Desi made pho, and Bozer baked a cake… I was trying to do something nice for you and I fucked it up.” He sniffled and then scoffed. “But that’s nothing new. I fuck everything up.”

Jack’s mind worked overtime trying to process all the information it was receiving and put it together into something more or less logical. He noticed the balloons and thought maybe they were celebrating his return, but… _fuck_. “Shit, it’s my birthday,” he breathed out, shocked as hell.

“Why do you sound surprised?” Mac muttered, sniffling again.

“I completely forgot,” Jack said softly. “But Mac, you getting sick is not your fault. And what do you mean you fuck everything up?”

Mac looked at him in disbelief. “Well, let’s see, my dad left because I look too much like my mom, so God knows my face is all wrong,” he started, voice caustic. “And we’re not even gonna go into the fact that I couldn’t finish college or that I didn’t know my girlfriend was a double agent. My biggest fuckup to date is going to Nigeria without telling you, and I know it was a fuckup because I’m still paying for it – especially on the day you left with that damn handshake.

Something cracked inside of Jack, and he took a deep breath and squeezed Mac’s hands. “Okay, buddy, from the beginning,” he said quietly. “Your old man leaving wasn’t your fault, it was his. Nothing’s wrong with your face and with you lookin’ like your mom. That was your father’s issue.” One James still deserved to get punched for, but Jack wasn’t about to mention that now. “Second, you could’ve finished college if you wanted to—it’s not like you failed, man. You chose to do somethin’ different, ain’t nothing wrong with that.” Another deep breath. “And Nikki fooled all of us, Mac. I’m just as much to blame for that.” Mac’s expression suggested he’d be watching Jack guardedly if he could, but the morphine dripping into his body meant he couldn’t. He seemed dubious and sad and hurt all at once, but he was listening. “And as far as you and me are concerned? We both fucked up, Mac, it wasn’t all you. Did it hurt when you went to Nigeria without me? Of course it did, but I had Riley track your phone—I could’ve shown up any time I wanted to, but I figured you didn’t want me around.”

Mac’s face crumpled. “I wanted you around,” he whispered brokenly. “I missed you every day, but I… I don’t even know.” He sniffled. “I didn’t want to bother you with all that and I… I knew you’d quit if I asked you to and I couldn’t let you do that.” He refused to meet Jack’s gaze, his eyes fixed on their hands. “But it cost me you.”

“No it didn’t,” Jack protested, his voice cracking. He squeezed Mac’s hands again, careful not to put pressure on the IV. “You’re the most important person in my life, Mac, and it killed me to stay away from you. I wanted to talk to you so badly, but I assumed you wouldn’t want anything to do with me—and that was a mistake. Another mistake was not telling you any of this before I left to find Kovacs.”

“I’m not… you said you I was your good friend. Before you left,” Mac whispered, and Jack felt like shooting himself because he was responsible for the pain he heard in Mac’s voice. “I know I deserved that after Nigeria, but it… it still hurt. And then you were gone.”

“You _are_ my good friend, Mac—you’re my best friend.” Jack swallowed hard, tears burning his own eyes. “You’re so much more than that to me, but if I start talkin’ about that I’ll never stop. I’m so sorry I hurt you, I never wanted to do that. I’ll do whatever I have to in order to make it up to you.”

Mac’s lower lip trembled. “I wanted to… I hoped maybe your birthday party would be the first step to fix us.” Even though it seemed like Mac had been listening, he clearly wasn’t hearing Jack because he was still blaming himself. “But of course I had to destroy that.” He let out a bitter chuckle. “You know, at one point I wasn’t even sure you’d come back after finding Kovacs. I tried telling myself that you wouldn’t leave Riley… but I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

Jack bowed his head, pressing his cheek against their joined hands and choking back a sob that climbed up his throat. “Mac… the only thing I wanted to do was get back to you,” he admitted in a whisper, feeling Mac go still everywhere they touched. “That, and I wanted to tell you how sorry I was for mucking things up between us… because I’m in love with you. Have been for years.”

“What?” Mac breathed out, staring at Jack in surprise but not pushing him away or tearing his hands out of Jack’s grasp. “But… why?”

Jack smiled, fond and sad, ducking his head awkwardly until he could wipe a stray tear away on the sleeve of his Metallica shirt. “Why? Because you’re like… the human embodiment of sunshine, dude. You’ve made my stupid life better since the day you walked into it, and I… I don’t even want to think about what I’d do without you. Your smile is the prettiest damn thing I’ve ever seen, and I never wanna be away from you, not again.” He paused. “But after this little confession of mine that’s probably the last thing you want.” He counted the seconds until Mac told him to get lost, but when it didn’t happen, Jack sighed and started to disentangle their hands. “I’m… I’m gonna go,” he said quietly. “I’ll ask—”

“No, please don’t go,” Mac interjected, blinking rapidly as he tried to focus. “Jack, I always want you with me, I…” His voice broke. “I love you.”

Jack froze, shock rocketing through his whole body. “You… what?” he asked, the words trembling.

“I love you,” Mac repeated, stronger this time, his fingers squeezing Jack’s. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You understand how my brain works, you always know how to make me laugh, and you… you’re brave and selfless and all I wanted was to give you a nice birthday. I even got you a gift—first edition vinyl of Ride the Lightning, autographed by Metallica.”

“Oh my God, seriously?” Jack asked with huge eyes, grinning before he shook himself—he could be excited about it later. “Mac, listen to me,” he said softly, leaning closer and waiting for Mac to meet his gaze. “I didn’t even remember it was my birthday, I’m… my head’s a mess, more than I’d ever admit to anyone else. But even if I had remembered, just being with you makes the day perfect. And you tellin’ me that… that you love me?” Jack couldn’t stop the disbelief that laced his voice. “That’s the best birthday ever.”

Mac stared at him for a moment and then he untangled their hands to put them on Jack’s face and dragged him in for a kiss. It started out closed-mouthed and chaste, just a press of lips on lips, and Jack’s heart hammered in his chest with how good it felt. Their mouths parted and pressed back together again, and this time Jack couldn’t help but slip Mac a little tongue. He didn’t seem to mind in the slightest if the soft noise he made in the back of his throat was any indication. Jack’s back started to hurt so he got up from the chair and sat on the edge of the bed instead, to get closer to Mac. He did it without breaking the kiss and now he could deepen it, loving how Mac’s arms wrapped around his neck.

“God, finally,” Matty’s amused voice startled them apart, and when Jack looked over his shoulder he saw the entire team watching them.

Mac made an embarrassed sound and pressed his face against Jack’s cheek, which was turning pink. “You, uh… what?” Jack asked eloquently, then cleared his throat. “What do you mean, finally?”

“She means it’s about damn time you two got your shit together,” Desi said, leaning against the doorjamb with a smirk on her face. “Should’ve known he was pining after you when he could barely get through a date with me.”

“What?” Jack’s eyes went wide and he looked at Mac, who made another whining sound and hid his face in Jack’s neck. That was when Jack remembered Mac was still drugged, so he gently wrapped an arm around him to shield him from their friends.

He moved his gaze back to Desi who just shrugged and said, “What? He’s cute.”

“M’not cute,” Mac mumble near Jack’s ear, making him suppress a smile.

“You’re right, he is cute,” Jack said to Desi, just to hear Mac’s halfhearted sound of protest.

“Well, I’m glad we have that established,” James said dryly, coming over to the bed and putting a hand on Mac’s shin, squeezing lightly. “I think I speak for everyone when I say that I’m glad you’re okay, Angus… but you really should’ve told us something was wrong before it got this far.”

Mac slowly pulled back and rested against the pillows on the bed. He refused to meet anyone’s eye and Jack wanted to hug him and never let go. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I just… I didn’t want to ruin the party.”

“Man, the party would’ve been _way_ more ruined if you were dead,” Bozer pointed out, and just the thought of that made a shudder run through Jack’s body. “We all care about you, Mac, and I know for a fact that Jack loves you way more than he’ll love that Metallica record.” A pause. “Well, hopefully.”

Leanna elbowed Bozer, rolling her eyes when he yelped. “I think what Bozer’s trying to say is that we’re happy your appendix didn’t burst before you go there.”

Mac nodded a little but he still looked miserable, and Jack knew now he felt guilty not only about the party but about worrying everyone.

“How about we let you get some rest?” Matty suggested, not so subtly herding everyone out of the room, and Jack gave her a grateful look. “And we’ll find out when you can get out of here.”

Riley had slipped out to do exactly that, and when she came back she said, “The nurse told me you have to stay at least until tomorrow.” Mac groaned a little and she added, “Sorry, Mac, but they want to make sure you’re stable and that the antibiotics are working.”

“We’ll bring you guys some stuff tomorrow,” James promised, leaning down to hug Mac. Then they all left, Desi shutting the door behind them.

Mac sighed a little and closed his eyes, and Jack couldn’t help but brush the hair away from his face. He leaned into Jack’s touch, and when he looked at him his blue eyes were filled with sadness. “You’re gonna go soon too, right?” he asked in a whisper.

Jack leaned in to kiss his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said softly. “I don’t care if they try to kick me out.”

Mac shifted over enough on the bed so Jack could sit next to him. He kicked off his boots before snaking an arm around Mac’s shoulders, smiling when Mac moved the blankets so they covered both of them. He snuggled closer to Jack and rested his head on his chest. They sat in silence like that for a while and Jack didn’t mind at all.

At one point he thought Mac fell asleep, but then he heard him whisper, “I’m really sorry, Jack. Not just about today, but… about Nigeria, all of that.”

“I know you are, Mac,” Jack said, that old hurt welling up in his chest as he remembered watching Mac leave the Phoenix after he quit. “And I forgave you for it a long time ago. But… all I’m asking now is if we’re gonna be… _together_ , that maybe we make big life decisions with each other? Sound reasonable?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Mac replied, tilting his head to look up at Jack. “I promise. No more dealing with stuff on my own.” His eyes studied Jack’s features before going lower, frowning when he saw a patch of skin where Jack’s t-shirt slid down a bit. Jack knew what he was looking at and wasn’t surprised when Mac lifted a hand to gently brush his fingers against the new scar near his collarbone. “What happened?”

“Caught the wrong end of some dude’s knife,” Jack said, grasping that hand and pressing a kiss to Mac’s knuckles. “I promise he ended up worse than I did.”

“I’m sure he did,” Mac murmured, fully aware of what Jack was capable of in a fight. “I wish I could’ve been there to watch your back.”

“I don’t,” Jack whispered, tightening his arm around Mac. “As much as I missed you every day, I’m glad you weren’t there to see all that.” _What I had to do_ , he added mentally, not wanting to know how Mac would react if he saw the person Jack used to be.

Mac was quiet for a while as he watched Jack’s face. “You said your head is messed up. I just promised not to deal with stuff on my own, so… what about you?”

Jack shook his head. “Shit, you got me there.” He sighed, burying his face in Mac’s hair and shutting his eyes. “The whole thing with Kovacs was just as drawn out and ugly as I thought it was gonna be from the start. I’m not proud of what I had to do in order to finally kill the bastard, but it was worth it to make sure he stays dead this time.”

“You did what was necessary,” Mac said quietly, sitting up to press his lips to Jack’s jaw, lingering to nuzzle his stubble. “If you want to tell me what went down, I’ll listen. And I won’t judge you, you know that.”

Jack chewed on the inside of his cheek. “I know you won’t, and I love you for that and so many other reasons. But maybe… maybe that’s a conversation for after you get outta here, huh? You could probably use some sleep.”

As if on cue a nurse came in, smiling when she saw them curled up together in bed. “Awww, isn’t that a cute violation of protocol. I’ve got some more painkillers for you, Mr. MacGyver, and I need to take your vitals and check your temperature.”

She didn’t try to kick Jack out so he stayed put, barely holding back a grin when Mac grumbled under his breath like an old man. He let the nurse prod him and check him out and once she left he snuggled back into Jack’s embrace. Jack’s mind was blown by that, how easy it was for him to be close to Jack, that it was something he actually wanted.

He kissed the top of his head. “Get some sleep, darlin’,” he murmured. “I’ll be right here when you wake up.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the positive feedback on the first chapter!!! Here's the smutty one!!!

When Mac woke up in the morning, it was to the steady beeping of the pulse monitor and the soft snuffling of Jack’s snoring near his ear. They had shifted a little during the night, so Mac’s face was pressed into Jack’s chest, his fingers curled into the material of his t-shirt. Jack had both arms around him, one of which was unfortunately pressing against Mac’s incisions, but he almost didn’t want to move just because everything was so peaceful. It was still hard for him to believe yesterday actually happened—not the appendicitis, that was just his luck—but the fact that Jack returned his feelings and wanted to be with him. He moved and in response Jack’s arms tightened around him, and Mac couldn’t hold back a quiet groan of pain that made Jack’s eyes snap open.

“Mac? What’s wrong?” Jack asked, worry lacing his groggy voice. “Are you okay?” He blinked himself awake and became aware of their positioning. His grip loosened instantly and one of his hands touched Mac’s cheek. “Oh shit, are you okay? What do you need?”

“I’m… I’m good,” Mac replied once the pain subsided a bit. “You were touching my incisions, it’s fine.” Jack still looked at him with worried eyes, so Mac tilted his head to brush his lips against his jaw. “It’s not a big deal.”

“If you’re sure,” Jack said, sounding dubious, but at least he relaxed against the mattress. “You feeling okay other than that?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Mac said, thumb stroking absently at Jack’s hip through his clothes. “I could use the bathroom, though, and I’m not sure I can make it by myself.”

“I’ll help you,” Jack offered, and Mac reluctantly let him go. Once he stood he helped Mac up, wrapping his arm around him to hold him up as they slowly made their way to the bathroom.

After that was taken care of, Doctor Holden came into the room and raised his eyebrows. “Well, I was going to ask how you were doing, but apparently this is my answer,” he said. “If you can walk around and you aren’t in screaming agony, you’re gonna be just fine. I think we can get you out of here this morning, providing you can keep breakfast down.”

Mac was out of breath as he sat on the edge of the bed, but he nodded, eager to get home. The doctor left with the promise that someone would bring breakfast up soon, and once he was gone Jack sat down next to him.

“You sure you’re doin’ better?” he asked, still sounding concerned.

Mac nodded. “I don’t feel as sick as I did yesterday,” he told him. “That was… awful. I’d rather get shot than feel that way again. I’m not a hundred percent, but I want to get the hell out of here, Jack—you know how much I hate hospitals.”

Jack leaned in to kiss his cheek, staying close to nuzzle at his skin. “I do know that, Mac, but I also know I don’t wanna see you go home and then have to come back because you weren’t ready.”

“I’m ready, I promise,” Mac said, touching Jack’s jaw with his fingers. His stubble was much softer than he’d expected and he loved it. “Though I probably shouldn’t be left alone, so I was thinking… maybe you could stay with me when I go home?”

Jack smiled at him, pushing into Mac’s touch and kissing the palm of his hand. “I’d love to,” he murmured, moving to close the distance between them.

Before their lips touched, however, an orderly came in with breakfast… for both of them, and that was a pleasant surprise. Jack darted in to kiss Mac anyway once the orderly left, and then they started eating. The food was edible—another surprise—and Mac took his time, eating slowly. He seemed to be able to keep the food down, which was very good news.

“You’re staring,” he commented, feeling Jack’s careful gaze on him the entire time. It made him smile. “Focus on your eggs.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Jack said, but he didn’t sound apologetic at all. “I just can’t get over how gorgeous you are.”

“You’re crazy,” Mac said, feeling his cheeks flush. “I smell like sweat and hospital, my hair’s all greasy… plus, I’m… me.”

He regretted adding that last part when Jack’s brows drew down in confusion. “What do you mean you’re _you_?” he asked, just like Mac knew he would. “I mean, it’s logical, obviously you’re you, but the way you said it…”

Mac sighed and set his fork aside. “I mean that I’m… this.” He gestured at himself. “Weird and clumsy, always setting stuff on fire…” He stared down at his hands, at fingers that were too long, always moving, always busy. “Nothing special.”

Jack said nothing for a moment, and then he pushed aside their empty plates so he could frame Mac’s face with his hands. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, darlin’,” he said, his voice low and incredibly tender. “Between those big blue eyes and that smile, I was a goner the day I met you. You might not see anything special, but I do. And I always will… no matter what questionable haircut you get next.”

Mac let out a startled laugh. “I’m not sure I’ll ever believe that, but… if you do, then I guess that’s what matters,” he said quietly, letting Jack pull him in for a kiss. It was short and sweet but it still made Mac tingle all over, and he put his hands on Jack’s shoulders to keep him close. “So just to clarify, you prefer my hair when it’s short like in the army, or long like now?”

Jack smiled and kissed him again, moving one of his hands to card through Mac’s hair. “I like it however you like it,” he said, thumb rubbing over Mac’s temple. “But in my opinion I think the longer hair suits you better.” Mac felt his face burn again, but Jack’s hand in his hair kept him from looking away. “You look like a golden retriever puppy,” he added with a smile and Mac got even redder, which made Jack chuckle. “Didn’t know you blushed so much, baby. It’s cute.”

The pet name didn’t help Mac’s blushing situation any. He rolled his eyes and smacked Jack lightly on the stomach. “I might’ve been high as balls yesterday but I know you turned bright red when everybody caught us kissing. Not that I blame you… but you’re pretty cute when you blush too.”

Jack grinned and leaned in to kiss him again… his cheeks gone pink. “You’re the cutest,” he murmured, pecking Mac’s lips one more time before pulling back. “And since you’re not puking everywhere I’m gonna go find out if I can take you home already.”

As it turned out Dr. Holden was busy getting Mac’s discharge paperwork ready and he was all set to leave. When Jack came back it was with Desi, who had one of Mac’s duffle bags from home slung over her shoulder.

“Brought you some clothes, figured you didn’t wanna wear the barfy ones from yesterday,” she said, plopping the bag down on the bed. “We also cleaned up the house, and you two have a whole lot of pho and birthday cake for food.”

“That’s awesome,” Jack said, while Mac nodded with a small smile. He still wasn’t entirely over ruining Jack’s party, no matter how much Jack told him it wasn’t his fault, but he kept that to himself for now. Desi left after a moment, telling Mac to get better soon, and they were alone again. “Come on, hoss, let’s get you out of here. You need help changing?”

“Probably,” Mac admitted, trying to stand by himself. He was shaky for a second but then he got it together, disconnecting his IV and sliding out the cannula with practiced ease. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, suddenly nervous, and turned his back to Jack. “Think you could untie my gown?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jack murmured, stepping closer.

Mac felt his presence behind him and couldn’t help but shiver when Jack’s fingers brushed the back of his neck, slowly sliding down to the gown. He untied it and pulled in a sharp breath when he realized Mac was totally naked underneath the gown—no underwear, nothing except the bandages on his torso from the surgery. The flimsy material of the gown pooled around Mac’s feet and he kicked it away before turning to face Jack, putting them nose-to-nose.

“Hi,” he whispered, immediately entranced by the dark depths of Jack’s eyes. “Should I have warned you? About being naked?”

“N-No,” Jack whispered, looking right back. “I guess I should’ve expected that, I’ve… it’s not like this is my first time in a hospital.” His voice was strained and Mac saw Jack’s hands twitch by his sides, like he was stopping himself from reaching out. “Damn, when I was imagining undressing you this is _not_ what I had in mind.”

Mac smiled and tilted his head. “You imagined undressing me?”

Jack’s eyes widened when he realized what he just admitted, and he started trying and failing to explain himself: “Not like, all the time or anything… but come on, dude, we’ve seen each other without clothes before, and I just—”

“Jack,” Mac whispered, suddenly feeling bold despite the fact that they were still in the hospital and anybody could walk in. “Stop talking.”

He leaned in and pressed their lips together in a kiss, Jack making a surprised sound in the back of his throat but returning the pressure. After a moment of hesitation he set his hands on Mac’s hips and Mac wrapped his arms around Jack’s neck, pulling him closer. He nipped on his lower lip and slipped his tongue into Jack’s mouth as soon as he opened up for him, and he moaned a little when one of Jack’s hands slid to his ass. They kissed like that for a while, deep and slow, but eventually air became a necessity.

Mac broke away, panting as he rested his forehead against Jack’s cheek. “We should, um, probably get out of here,” he said softly, and Jack made a noise of agreement.

They parted reluctantly, and Jack helped him put on his shirt and some sweatpants, even crouching down to tie Mac’s sneakers for him. Then Jack grabbed the duffel bag and took Mac’s hand, squeezing it with a grin. They walked out of the hospital and they quickly found the GTO parked nearby and Mac was glad he wasn’t nauseous this time as he got into the passenger seat. After sliding behind the wheel, Jack started the car... and then grabs Mac’s hand again. Mac smiled and squeezed Jack’s fingers, and while the drive to his house takes longer than it did the night before, it still wasn’t too far.

Once they got inside, Mac tried not to cringe when he saw all the unused party supplies piled up in neat stacks on his kitchen counter, along with the banner and other decorations. He felt Jack come in behind him with the duffle bag, keeping up his usual stream of chatter as he unzipped it and takes out the medications and instructions they gave Mac to take home. “And then I swear to god, man, I thought I was gonna—hey, what’s wrong?” Mac startled a little when Jack suddenly stopped talking and there were arms wrapping around him from behind. “You okay, Mac?” Jack murmured in his ear. “You kinda... froze.”

Mac turned around, sliding his arms around Jack in return and pressing his face into his neck. “I’m okay, I just...” He trailed off for a moment, unsure of how to explain himself. “I still feel bad about your party. I know you said you don’t care and that it isn’t a big deal, but I worked really hard on it, everybody did—and to see all this stuff just sitting here because it didn’t get used... it makes me sad.”

“It’s not that I don’t care, Mac, I just... what I meant is that I don’t blame you for what happened,” Jack started quietly. “And I know you must’ve put a lot of work into this because you always do, so... how about a redo? Once you’re feelin’ better?” he offered. “I know it’s not the same, but... maybe?”

Mac breathed in Jack’s smell—leather and gunpowder, mixed with a tinge of hospital—and pulled back to look him in the eyes. “I… I’d like that,” he said, smiling when Jack did. “Right now… would you mind taking a shower with me? I feel pretty gross.”

Jack’s eyes widened and so did Mac’s smile. “Yeah, sure,” Jack said, his voice shaking just a bit.

He grabbed Jack’s hand and led him to the bathroom, smiling again when Jack kept shooting glances his way. “Why are you so nervous?” he asked, wrapping his arms around Jack and kissing his cheek.

“I just…” Jack began, and seemed to get distracted by Mac’s face for a moment. Then he blinked and cleared his throat, big hands settling gently on Mac’s hips. “I never thought I’d get to have this, you know? That you’d ever want me like this. And to be here with you now, especially after yesterday… it’s pretty surreal, darlin’. I keep thinking I’m gonna wake up any second now and it’ll have all been a dream.”

“I know the feeling,” Mac said quietly, one hand sliding up to the back of Jack’s neck, fingers brushing over his short hair. “My mind is just as blown as yours.”

Jack chuckled and rubbed Mac’s hipbones with his thumbs before he frowned. “Hey, can you actually take a shower with all those bandages?”

Mac shook his head. “Nope, I have to take them off. And try like hell not to get soap on my stitches.” He took a half-step back and wriggled out of his shirt, managing to get it over his head with Jack’s help. Once that was done Mac started peeling away the bandages by the edges, examining the tiny holes where the scope and surgical instruments went into his body. He can feel Jack’s eyes on him again and smiled a little. “What are you staring at?”

“You’re just too damn gorgeous,” Jack replied, and Mac’s cheeks turned red. “And you’re even hotter when you’re fascinated by something—and while I wish that something wasn’t the holes in your body, I stand by what I said.” He grinned at him. “And like I said earlier, you’re adorable when you blush.”

Mac shoved at his chest lightly, not surprised when Jack didn’t budge an inch. “Shut up and help me with my shoes.”

Laughing, Jack did exactly that, shedding his own clothes as well, and soon they were in Mac’s shower with steam billowing around them. The cabin was large but they stayed close to each other, the presence of Jack’s warm, solid body making Mac shiver. Jack was right earlier when he said that they’d seen each other without clothes before, but… it was never like this. In all those other situations Mac thought he wasn’t allowed to look, let alone admire, and now… now he could do whatever he wanted, so he let his gaze wander.

“My eyes are up here, sweetheart,” Jack joked a moment later. “I’m not just a piece of meat.”

“Hey, if you get to stare at me then I get to do the same thing,” Mac retorted, grinning as Jack pulled him in for a kiss. It was gentle and a little teasing, with a nip to Mac’s lower lip making a spark light low in his belly. “Keep that up and I’m gonna be doing a lot more than objectifying you.”

“Oh yeah?” Jack drawled, nuzzling Mac’s cheek. “Like what?”

“Hmm, let’s see,” Mac said, pretending to think. His breath hitched when Jack started mouthing at his jaw. His teeth grazed the soft skin of Mac’s throat, and in return Mac slowly slid his hands up and down Jack’s chest, making sure to rub over one of his nipples with his thumb. “That depends on what you’re in the mood for.”

“Mhmm, well, considering you just had surgery I don’t think we can get _too_ vigorous,” Jack said, his voice rumbling out of his chest and straight to Mac’s dick. “But I bet I could suck you off. Is that something you’d be interested in, baby?”

“God yes,” Mac said before he could stop himself, the words tumbling out of his mouth, and his brain went offline for a second as he imagined Jack on his knees.

He felt him smile against his neck and then Jack gently pushed him until Mac’s back hit the wall… and he didn’t have to imagine anything, because Jack dropped to his knees in front of him, locking his lips as he looked up with those gorgeous dark eyes. His hands slid up Mac’s thighs, callouses catching on soft skin, and from that simple touch and a couple of kisses Mac was already fully hard.

“Beautiful,” Jack murmured, lips pressed against Mac’s hip. He scraped his teeth along the bone, sucking a bruise into his skin but not touching where Mac desperately wanted him to. He bit him gently and trailed his lips to Mac’s other hip, carefully avoiding his cock.

“ _Jack_ ,” Mac warned, gritting his teeth and doing his best to keep his breathing even. “You’re kinda killing me here.”

Jack didn’t say anything, grinning against Mac’s hip and biting down a little harder, and he moved his hands around, sliding them from Mac’s thighs to grope his ass cheeks. Mac leaned his weight against the wall so his sutures didn’t ache, taking in a sharp breath when he felt Jack’s fingers press into his ass crack. Everything was nice and slick with water, and he rubbed a fingertip over Mac’s hole, which twitched under his touch.

“Oh fuck,” Mac mumbled, gasping again as that finger pressed inside him.

Jack’s tongue licked a hot stripe up the length of his cock, sucking lightly on the head when he reached it. Mac was already out of breath and his heart pounded so wildly he was afraid it was going to jump out of his chest. Jack’s mouth slowly sunk lower and he pushed his finger deeper inside Mac at the same time and Mac moaned loudly, torn between wanting to thrust into Jack’s mouth or pushing back against his finger.

“God, Jack,” he choked out, one hand gripping Jack’s shoulder while he moved the other one to the back of his neck. “More, please.”

Jack pulled back far enough to speak. “Only because you asked so nicely,” he said, and pushed a second finger in alongside the first.

He put his mouth back on Mac’s length and this time he flattened out his tongue to take him in further. Mac’s knees almost buckled when he felt the head of his cock hit the back of Jack’s throat, tight heat squeezing as Jack swallowed around him. Those two fingers lazily moved in and out of him and Jack started bobbing his head in the same rhythm, slowly driving Mac insane. He cried out brokenly when Jack’s fingers brushed over his prostate, and Jack made sure to find that spot again and again, hitting it in time with swallowing around Mac’s cock and making him see stars.

“J-Jack, fuck,” Mac moaned, glancing down. That was a mistake because Jack looked gorgeous with his lips wrapped around his cock and when their gazes met he fucking winked... and pressed his fingers against Mac’s prostate and kept them there. Mac’s mouth dropped open and he let out a long, low sound, pleasure racing up his spine and making him feel warm. He shook all over, gripping Jack’s shoulders hard enough to bruise him, and his hips twitched—back into the pressure or away from it, he wasn’t sure. “Jack, oh, _please_ ,” he whined when those fingers didn’t move an inch, grinding hard against his prostate as Jack swallowed around him. “I’m so close.”

Jack hummed around his cock and swallowed again, pulling his fingers back a little only to start moving them again. Mac moaned loudly when Jack started fucking him with his fingers, bobbing his head at the same time. After a moment he took Mac as deep as possible and swallowed around him while his fingers moved faster, and it only takes a few seconds more before Mac came with a loud shout, his hips twitching as he spilled down Jack’s throat. Jack took it all without complaint, swallowing down everything he had to give. He worked him through his orgasm with his tongue and his fingers, teasing his prostate until Mac’s eyes rolled up in his head from oversensitivity. Then he pulled off Mac’s cock and stood up... while keeping his fingers in Mac’s ass, which shouldn’t have been as hot as it was, especially when Jack leaned in to kiss him and Mac could taste himself on his tongue.

The kiss was deep and dirty and Jack continued moving his fingers teasingly until Mac whined a little. “Fuck, you’re so gorgeous like this,” Jack murmured, and removed his fingers, nipping on Mac’s lower lip. “Can’t wait to get inside you, fuck you until you come just from my cock.”

Mac groaned when he imagined that and forced his brain to work long enough to slide one of his hands down Jack’s chest, fingers wrapping around his cock. He wished like hell that he was in shape to have Jack fuck him, but it just wasn’t possible—even standing for this long put a strain on his abdomen. He was determined to bring Jack off, so he started stroking him, his grip firm as he thumbed over the head. He also pushed his face into Jack’s neck and licked over his skin before sucking a bruise over his pulse. Jack moaned brokenly and placed one hand on the wall next to Mac’s head, his other arm circling his waist. He panted into Mac’s shoulder and his hips were twitching, thrusting into Mac’s fist, the sounds he made getting louder. Mac loved how big he was and once again he imagined having him inside him, but he pushed that thought away, picking up the pace and stroking Jack faster.

“Oh, Mac, _baby_.” Jack’s movements got faster and more erratic. He bit down on Mac’s shoulder, which made Mac’s spent cock twitch feebly, and then all of a sudden Jack was coming. He pushed into Mac’s fist and let out a string of incoherent noises, panting and writhing as Mac worked him through the aftershocks before taking his hand away so he could hug Jack close. Jack sagged against him before he remembered that Mac was barely standing and took some of his weight away. “Fuck, baby, that was incredible,” Jack murmured, tightening his arm around Mac’s waist and holding him close, and he pressed his lips to his cheek, lingering for a moment.

“Mhmm,” was Mac’s intelligent response. He was tired before between the surgery and not sleeping well in the hospital, and now he felt his eyes closing. “Bed?”

“Yeah, bed’s a good idea,” Jack agreed, and he shut off the water before he hefted Mac up into his arms, carrying him out of the bathroom. They were both still kind of wet, but Mac found he didn’t care as long as he got to snuggle up next to Jack... who looked down at the stitches in Mac’s body with an odd expression on his face.

He forced himself to keep his eyes open and he scooted closer to Jack. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he mumbled, sliding his arm over Jack’s middle. Jack didn’t reply which makes Mac frown and he tilted his head to look up at him. “Jack?”

“You know, I hate thinking about losing you when it comes to our job,” Jack started, his thumb rubbing absent circles over Mac’s ribs. “But thinking about losing you to something like this? That’s even worse somehow... maybe because it’s out of my control.” He leaned down and kisses Mac’s forehead. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Mac murmured, snuggling closer. “Jack, you... you can’t protect me from everything, you know that, right?”

“Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna try,” Jack replied, his voice firm. “But when it comes to things like this... promise me that if you feel bad again, you’re not gonna hide it?” His voice was now pleading. “I can’t help you if I don’t know something’s wrong.”

“You’re right,” Mac said, nuzzling at Jack’s stubble and embracing the warm swell of affection he felt for this man, this selfless man who would give anything to protect him, even from himself. “I won’t hide it again, I promise. Even for your birthday.” He smiled and sat up, wincing a little—the pain meds from the hospital wore off. “How about I go grab your gift?”

Jack smiles. “Baby, you don’t have to—”

“Jack,” Mac cut him off softly, kissing his cheek. “I’ll be fine, I want to get it for you.”

Jack watched him for a second longer before releasing Mac from his arms. Mac grinned down at him and got up from the bed, making his way to his dresser. He opened one of the drawers and started moving his clothes around, searching for the gift he had hidden there a few days before. He pulled out the Metallica record, which was sealed inside a protective plastic case, along with a small envelope. He didn’t have a chance to wrap the record but he figured Jack wouldn’t mind, since he already knew what part of his gift was.

“Jesus, this is so fucking awesome,” Jack said, taking the album when Mac handed to it him with reverent hands.

“Well, I hope you’re ready to hear some of it live,” Mac said, dropping the envelope on top of the record and sitting back down. “Because those are tickets to Metallica’s next LA show.”

Jack’s head snapped up and he stared at him with huge eyes. He looked so excited, like Christmas came early, and Mac couldn’t help but smile because while Jack was always gorgeous... he was even more beautiful when he’s happy. Jack gently set the album and the envelope aside before tackling Mac to the mattress (gently and without putting pressure on his abdomen) and kissing him senseless. “I love you so much, you’re the best.”

“I love you too,” Mac said, hugging him close. “You’re gonna have so much fun.”

Jack pulled back to look at him, eyebrows drawing down. “What do you mean, _I’m_ gonna have so much fun? There’s more than one ticket, right?”

“Well, yeah,” Mac started, blinking up at him. “There’s four tickets, but I just presumed you’d want to take Riley, and maybe some of your Delta buddies.”

Jack smiled and kissed him on the lips. “I know you’re not the biggest Metallica fan,” he said softly, nuzzling Mac’s cheek. “But I’m hoping you’d still be interested in going with me? This has the potential to be one of the best days of my life and I want you there with me.”

Mac grinned and pulled him in for another kiss. “I’d love to,” he whispered, mostly because he could see how happy the idea makes Jack. Plus Mac knew practically all the songs, so it wasn’t like it would be awkward. “So, does this make up for me ruining your surprise party?”

Jack gave him a pointed look. “You didn’t ruin anything, I told you,” he said, but then he grinned too. “But yeah, that that definitely makes up for scaring the shit out of me.” His eyes widened. “But don’t you think you can just end up in the hospital like that and then bribe me with gifts, that’s not gonna work again.”

Mac laughed and didn’t protest when Jack rolls them over so he was resting against his chest again, smacking a kiss to his collarbone. “Maybe I’ll just give you the gifts instead?”

Jack dropped a kiss on the top of his head, and Mac felt his smile against his hair. “You’re the best gift I could ever get, baby.”


End file.
